Lifestyle sentence

The League Pet

Severity
Category
Cost
Moderate
Time required
full year

The loser assumes a full year of custody and care for the league's official pet, a turtle, a pet rat, a goldfish with a championship name, keeping it alive and visible until relieved by the next loser. Vet bills are theirs; emotional attachment is inevitable and mocked. The handoff ceremony is solemn.

The long haul: this is not a one-afternoon sentence. With a time commitment of full year, the punishment keeps paying out (for everyone else) long after the season ends. Long sentences need a written end date and a league-appointed enforcer who checks compliance.

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