Eight business hours as the champion's personal assistant: errands, coffee runs, calendar management, and dry-cleaning pickup, with a professional demeanor required throughout. The champion prepares a task list weeks in advance with visible joy. Overtime is uncompensated and traditional.
Budget note: this one costs nothing but dignity, which makes it a strong pick for leagues that would rather spend the pot on the champion than on the loser's downfall.
Seen in the wild: fantasyfootballunlimited.com