Every week of the next season, the loser must post one league-approved, deliberately terrible sports take to the group chat or their public account and defend it sincerely when challenged. 'Kickers are the most skilled players in football' energy, 17 straight weeks. Deleting a take doubles the next one.
The long haul: this is not a one-afternoon sentence. With a time commitment of full season, the punishment keeps paying out (for everyone else) long after the season ends. Long sentences need a written end date and a league-appointed enforcer who checks compliance.
Seen in the wild: fantasyleaguelottery.com