Physical sentence

The Milk Mile

Severity
Category
Cost
Free
Time required
one hour

Not for the work league

This one is flagged not family-safe. Run it in a league of consenting adults who chose this life, keep it legal, and keep it off the company Slack.

Chug a pint (or quart) of milk, run a quarter-mile lap, and repeat until a full mile and a half-gallon-plus of dairy are done. Very few finishers keep it all down, which is why the rules specify an outdoor track. One camera on the runner, one on the milk.

Heavy sentence

Severity 4 punishments are the ones people talk about for years, which is exactly why they need full league buy-in before week one. Put it in the constitution, set the deadline, and agree on proof requirements up front.

Budget note: this one costs nothing but dignity, which makes it a strong pick for leagues that would rather spend the pot on the champion than on the loser's downfall.

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