Lifestyle sentence

The Pet Valet

Severity
Category
Cost
Free
Time required
one month

The loser walks, bathes, and grooms the champion's dog on a recurring schedule for a month, poop bags included, rain not excepted. Champions without pets may borrow one, which has happened. The dog is the only party who wins.

The long haul: this is not a one-afternoon sentence. With a time commitment of one month, the punishment keeps paying out (for everyone else) long after the season ends. Long sentences need a written end date and a league-appointed enforcer who checks compliance.

Seen in the wild: fantasyfootballunlimited.com

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